I was spared from this for so long, and now I have to endure it once again...
Here I am in America, where kind young men drive around in cars, wanting to share their delightful rap and hip-hop music with the world! Oh how nice and considerate of them. NOT!
With the weather finally getting better in Phoenix, (just last week it was over 100 degrees and well into October!) Mayu and I are opening the windows and shutting off the air conditioning. Doing so has helped us realize that our neighbors are a bunch of insensitive jerks, to put it lightly. People making so much noise late into the night without even conceptualizing the fact that most people a. have jobs, and b. prefer to sleep at night. These are the type of people who would fart in a crowded elevator and sneer at everyone else like it's all their fault. Here I am in America, and I'm fighting the anti-social tendencies I thought I was cured of during my life in Japan.
It has been over a year since my wife and I moved to the USA. It was painful for both of us, and especially for my wife because she was leaving her home country. I graduated in December of 1999 and I started working in Japan very soon after that in August 2000. So, I had never held a regular, full-time job in America before moving to a foreign country. After returning to America, for ten months we lived with my parents before we could get our own apartment. Since the end of March, I've been working one temp job after another. For only $13 an hour, It's the best work I can find for now.
It seems like the only ones who are in denial and constantly complaining about how horrible the economy is are the ones currently running for President. But the truth is that the American economy is picking up rather nicely the past several months, and we are out of the recession. Jobs are still scarce, but hiring is expected to improve by the end of the year, if not the beginning of the next fiscal year.
We have a nice apartment. While most one bedroom apartments are about 550 to 600 square feet, ours is over 700 square feet. It's a very beautiful apartment, and the building is only five years old. We moved in on a great deal and we enjoy it. My wife is continually adjusting to America, and she is now a waitress at a sushi restaurant. We're slowly building a life for ourselves here.
I miss Japan. I feel homesick for Japan, even though it's not technically my home. But it was my home for two years of my life, and they were two very important and special years for me. Sometimes I miss Japan so much that I feel so lost and I want to cry. Nearly every day I think about going back to Japan, at least to visit. I have entertained the idea of going back to live in Japan for another couple of years. I don't reall miss the job I had there, but I am considering going back to Japan to become an ALT and help teach English to junior high students again. My job as an ALT was all right, I guess. My attitude towards my teaching job really depended on the school I was in and the students I taught. But I found that the students' attitudes really depended on the teacher I was paired with. If they have a stiff-necked, boring or unkind teacher, they hate their English lessons. And no matter how much they may like me, if the teacher is no good then the're no hope for the class.
But what I miss most is living in Japan and being able to explore the country and study the language and culture and share more beautiful experiences with my wife. And of course, I miss the money I was making. Right now I'm really having to be stingy, and I miss the carefree lifestyle we once had.
More than a year has gone by, and I have basically become used to life in America. It was very difficult coming back at first. It always is, even when I just go to Japan to visit. But it was even moreso when my job there ended. Whenever I spend any amount of time in Japan, coming back to America makes me see how ugly Americans are. At least in my eyes. When we flew to America in mid-August 2002, we had no real plan for our life. I went to school for the fall semester, and I wish I had just entered a job directly from the beginning. I studied computer networking and other I.T. stuff, which was interesting, but it really wasn't necessary. I just lacked confidence to enter the American workforce after two years in Japan.
When I left my life in Japan, it feels like I left a big part of myself behind. Moving back to my homeland ripped a big chunk out of me, and it will probably never heal. I love both America and Japan, yet I do not feel like I belong in either country. I wish I could live in both countries simultaneously. Particularly difficult is the fact that most people don't seem to care about my experience in Japan. The country has become such an integral part of my being now, but most people cannot relate or understand, nor do they usually care. I find myself excitedly rattling on passionately when people casually ask me what it was like for me to live in Japan, and I think that they end up regretting asking such a simple question that cannot be answered equally as simply.
But deep in my heart, I know that I truly do not belong in Japan. I've noticed that Japan welcomes foreign visitors with open arms, but it does not really encourage immigration. And with these ALT jobs, it seems that there is a limit to the number of years one can continue. With my job, I could only work 2 years. With the JET, the limit is 3. The option is to work Eikaiwa (English adult conversation classes), and those jobs are working nights and weekends. What kind of life would that be good for? Certainly not for raising a family. I cannot forget the fact that the United States of America is the world's focal point for immigration and the opportunity for living the "American Dream."
I've said many times before: If the standard of living matched the cost of living in Japan, and if I could be taken seriously for real jobs in Japan, I guess I wouldn't mind living in Japan. But in Japan, you don't get what you pay for. In America, we will have the chance to own our own house and yard. A house with insulation and centralized heating and cooling! Much bigger than what we could get in Japan for the same price. Before we moved from Japan, I watched a show that featured various new houses in Japan, and the show's hosts were running around inside the houses acting like spastic retards, They were so excited over a 117 sq. meter house that cost 40,000,000 yen. Yikes!
I am currently reading Dogs and Demons by Alex Kerr. It is a very eye-opening book to the horrors of modern Japan. It dispels a lot of myths about Japan that people with mostly romantic views of the country hold onto so strongly. I must admit that I am guilty of once having fairly idealistic views of Japan, many years ago. For example, so many "experts" on Japan proliferate the idea that Japanese live in harmony with nature instead of dominating it. Traditionally that is true, but the new Japan seems hell-bent on destroying nature. I consider myself an environmentalist in the dictionary-sense of the word, as I imagine most people feel the same way. I certainly disagree, however, with the Environmentalist movement, which is basically a guise for anti-capitalism communist crazies. However while reading this book, I can't stop thinking that Japan might need more of such greenies in order to balance what the hyperactive construction industry is doing to Japan's fading natural beauty.
But enough of this... I've already written about culture shock plenty of times before. Sometime soon I want to write an essay dedicated to all the things I love about Japan.
Be a dear and go on to the next chapter, will ya?
Go back to the "Greg's Life" Table of Contents
See the woolly panda. It is soft and round. the nearby sound of a throttling chainsaw frightens him. "Eek eek!" says the panda.