Playing Super Return of the Jedi on my Super Nintendo.

Strange times at night

January 1996

Two o'clock in the morning, wired on caffeine at Denny's. We're supposed to be studying for our difficult Chemistry class, but alas we are procrastinating instead. Myself and two of my friends, Jonathan and Jeff, had formed a study group for Chemistry last Fall. We met at Denny's at night in hopes of getting some work done. We did get work done, but we spent two thirds of our time together doing everything else but chemistry. We ended up discussing many things, like love, friendship, God, penguins, and movies. We also discussed the universe and it's secrets within. I think Jeff had the best theory. He claimed to be from the Red Planet, the planet where the good people of Earth come from. All the yuckie grodie bad people like Bill Clinton and the Ice Cream Man come from the Yellow Planet. Apparently, the evil citizens of the Yellow Planet have a thing about making butterflies. These aren't your average, harmless butterflies, oh no. These are evil butterflies that destroy people's lives. These butterflies are invisible because they can bend light. They are everywhere. Every bad thing that happens to you are due to these disgusting creatures. But have no fear; the people on the Green Planet make special light bulbs that produce light that the butterflies cannot bend. Shine one of these light bulbs and you can see the butterflies. People on the Blue Planet make special pencils that can kill these horrible butterflies.

In capable hands, while weilding a light bulb and a pencil, a hero can defeat the butterflies and save the Earth. You see, the Yellow Planet tries to take over the Earth with their butterflies, so the Red Planet must save Earth. The only things that can repel the butterflies are plastic knives, rubber bands, and popsicle sticks. The day of reckoning shall occur when all five planets are aligned with each other. Until that day, we are to be constantly attacked by these evil, invisible butterflies. So beware the butterflies! They are everywhere, and they are watching you. Wear a rubber band around your wrist, and carry a plastic knife wherever you go.

You can find plenty of interesting people wandering around at Denny's. If you don't believe me, just stay there for any lenght of time and make an effort to start conversations with people there. Some may be polite, some may be rude. Some may have a very interesting story to tell you, and you can have fascinating conversations with people from all over the world. On the other hand, some of them are truly sick and need to be institutionalized, so be careful. Here's a few types people to stay away from conversations with, according to the Sam & Max Travelogue:

---Gigantic waitresses from towns named after amphibians calling you "Darlin'" in some kind of gooey accent.

---The chain-smoking guy with five teeth and a screw-on toupee yammering relentlessly at his imaginary playmate. Make eye contact and you've got a friend for life!

I hope this helps. Remember: have fun, and beware of the butterflies!

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"I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now." --John Cleese, Monty Python
mail: greg -atsign- stevethefish -dot- net