Weeaboos suck.

Book review: Wrong About Japan by Peter Carey, and my thoughts on the whole Japanophile/weeaboo issue

August 2011

Wrong About Japan review
I just read an interesting book that touched on the whole "Japanophile" concept, which I've been thinking a lot about lately. I found this book years ago at the Kinokuniya bookstore in Los Angeles's Little Tokyo. It was an enjoyable read, but the book could have been a bit longer. It's only 158 pages with a large font and plenty of full-page pictures.

Peter Carey is a novel writer, but I've never heard of him. I suppose he's well-known for Oscar and Lucinda, but I really don't know him. Peter's son Charley is a huge anime and manga fan, the kind of annoying kid who wants to live in Japan because he loves anime and manga, but doesn't seem to give a crap about Japanese culture or history. Charley begs his father to take him on a trip to Japan, but his stipulation is that he only wants to see the "real Japan," meaning no museums or anything like that. It seemed to me that this so-called "real Japan" isn't the real Japan after all, since his scope of interests are very limited mostly to pop culture. After all, I can't blame him too much since he was only 12 years old on this trip to Japan, and the book was released in 2001. I was living in Japan in 2001, and this was the peak of the anime and manga bubble of popularity, well before companies like Central Park Media, A.D. Vision, Geneon, and Tokyo Pop started disappearing. Since Peter Carey is an established author who has visited Japan on several occasions and has had his novels translated into Japanese, he had plenty of strings to pull in order to give his son the otaku vacation no other kid could ever hope to have. Still, in one part, his son complained because his dad takes him to a kabuki play. I guess I can't be too hard on him, since I was rather immature at age 12 myself. I just hope that he's matured a lot since then, because there are plenty of young adults who still have yet to progress beyond this part. More on this later.

If their father-and-son vacation took them anywhere outside of Tokyo, the book did not indicate this. It seemed that they were only there for a week or so. The author uses some Japanese words that I noticed were not prefaced with any definitions at all, so it would help to know some of the Japanese terms he uses, or look up words on the Net you don't know. It's funny to read the part of them freaking out over the high-tech toilet in the ryokan they stayed at, especially since it reminded me of how I felt when I first saw such a toilet. Who hasn't?

Because of his connections, Peter Carey was able to take his son to meet Hiroyuki Kitakubo (Blood: The Last Vampire), Yoshiyuki Tomino (MS Gundam series), several staff and manga authors working for Kodansha, and even the elusive Hayao Miyazaki! Holy crap, his son Charley was so lucky! He had somehow made friends with an otaku kid named Takashi who has sullen Japanese-style temper-tantrums because he wasn't invited to come along to the interview with Tomino, and gets butthurt because he thinks that Charley is betraying Tomino by visiting Miyazaki. The kid is a real help to them in some parts and is a real pain in a few other parts, but then again, the author and his son are a bit annoying, too. The son can't be bothered to learn anything by visiting a kabuki play or a museum, and the father is annoying because he says stuff like, "We didn't fly all the way over here just to play video games at an arcade," and I felt like shouting to him, "Dude! You just don't get it! Japanese game centers are awesome!" There were times when he could have allowed his son to enjoy his time with his friend more, but he was inflexible and stuck to the vacation itinerary at the expense of fun. It's like that episode of Full House when the family goes on vacation, and Danny forces everyone to stick to his strict schedule. Well, up yours, Bob Saget! Why can't you be more like Uncle Jessie?

The premise of the book is about Peter Carey investigating the elusive influences of Japanese culture on anime and manga. The author seems to be a bit of a pretentious liberal who has preconceived notions about Japan and fancies himself to be so terribly intellectually-insightful. He at least admits in the book that he was wrong about so many preconceptions, thus the title of the book. He is also right a lot, though. For example, Mr. Carey was convinced that there must be some elusive aspects of Japanese culture that influenced Mobile Suit Gundam, and even though Mr. Tomino clearly believes that he had removed any traces of Japanese culture from Gundam, the author discovers that the whole concept of a boy piloting a robot was heavily influenced by boys who survived the firebombings of Japan during World War II and their sense of helplessness to defend their families since the Japanese army was decimated, and that this was also influenced by the lack of soldiers defending Japan in the last days of the war, and the desire for young boys to somehow defeat the enemy on their own. Moreover, we learn from the book that the nature of the relationship between a boy piloting a mecha is very similar to a mother's womb protecting her child. In another part of the book, the father/son team meet with a man who is a friend of the author of the novel Grave of the Fireflies on which the Ghibli movie is based, and the man describes in detail what it is like to survive the firebombings of Tokyo. Later in the book, the author also sits down to watch My Neighbor Totoro and gains much insight into Japanese culture's influence on the movie. I found this part to be particularly interesting, as his friend points out small details in the movie that convey very subtle messages that are practically invisible to non-Japanese viewers.

In the end, his son was able to meet some of the biggest names in the anime and manga industry, and although he unfortunately did not share his father's fascination with the influence of Japanese culture on these mediums, he had an experience that nobody else could ever coordinate. What is very impressive about the book is that not only was Peter able to land interviews with so many huge names in the anime industry, but also that he is a father who has an active interest in his son's passions. Despite the goofiness on both of their parts, he is an incredibly awesome father for doing this for his son. I learned a lot from reading this book, more than I thought I would. Plus, it was interesting to gain insight into the personalities and behaviors of Tomino and Miyazaki.

My thoughts on the whole Japanophile vs. weeaboo thing
So in the book, Charley is a 12-year-old boy who is satisfied to just take stuff like anime and manga at face value and not really care about the context of culture, yet he readily spouts out how he will someday live in Japan. This is understandable since he is just a preteen, but what is truly annoying is that there are so many young adults who are old enough to know better, but are still just as immature. It's not just the people who insist on only watching anime dubbed in English because they can't be bothered with reading subtitles or being reminded that anime comes from Japan. No, what I'm talking about are those who can be called weeaboos. Many would define a weeaboo as a Japanophile, but I do not accept this at all.

To me, a Japanophile is somebody who really likes Japan and thinks it's cool. They most likely study the language and culture. In that case, I guess that makes me a Japanophile. When I think of modern famous Japanophiles, I think of the author Boye Lafayette De Mente whom I was able to meet over a decade ago, who has written an extensive amount of books on Japan, such as Behind The Japanese Bow and How To Do Business With The Japanese. And of course there are those high-profile types such as Gwen Stefani, who even has a perfume called "Harajuku Lovers." The one who comes to my mind as a proto-Japanophile of sorts in history is Frank Lloyd Wright. Being born and raised in Arizona, Frank Lloyd Wright has left quite a mark on the Phoenix area. He's designed buildings for Arizona State University, the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation's headquarters, Taliesinn West, in north Scottsdale, and even a street in North Phoenix/Scottsdale is named after him. He had a profound love for Japan, and his hobby was collecting ukiyo-e (woodblock prints). To quote Wright, "Ever since I discovered the print, Japan has appealed to me as the most romantic, artistic country on earth." That sounds like a true Japanophile to me. If you substitute woodblock print collecting with manga collecting, it's easy to see that Wright was sort of a Japanophile of his day.

To me, a Japanophile, by the very nature of the word, is someone in love with Japan. They spend effort in learning about Japan and exploring its culture. They may or may not have a passion for manga. They could be fascinated with the country's history, cinema, music, fashion, religion, martial arts, tea ceremony, ikebana (flower arrangement), shogi (Japanese chess), etc.

A weeaboo, on the other hand, is essentially an obnoxious, retarded anime fan. They are somewhat of a perversion of a Japanophile. In my definition, a weeaboo is somebody who thinks that Japan is Super Country #1, Utopia on Earth, "Dear God, I wish I had been born Japanese, that way I can live in the land of anime and manga, but at least I can one day move to Japan and become a Japanese citizen and everyone there will embrace me with open arms because I am an otaku" etc. Basically, somebody like this retard. Weeaboos think that Japan is the magical utopia of anime and manga, and have built up some idealistic fantasy of what they think Japan is like, and they will continue to perpetuate that absurd fantasy since they're too busy watching anime and reading manga to truly educate themselves. They may probably prefer English-dubbed anime and what little of the Japanese language they know is primarily from watching anime. They likely repeat those few Japanese words ad-nauseam. And often these will be mispronounced---often they'll say "kawaii" (cute) in a way that sounds more like "kowai" (scary). If they ever go to Japan, they most likely will make complete idiots of themselves and act embarrassingly, such as walking around cosplaying as if everyone in Japan does this. There are plenty of great Japanese bands out there, but weeaboos are primarily attracted to the insipid pop tunes, particularly those featured in anime soundtracks.

As I wrote before, I went with some other friends to the Phoenix Comicon on Memorial Day weekend. It was a blast, but the worst panels were the anime panels. I was really disappointed with not only how unprofessional and uncoordinated (and downright annoying) those panels were, but I was shocked with how obnoxious, loud, and rude the anime fan crowd was. When my friend Lou and I attended the panel on Japanese Internet memes, we were constantly rolling our eyes. The presentation was very sloppy and obnoxious. The presenters were all like, "What does a dog say?" And the anime/weeaboo audience responded "Wan wan!" "What does a cat say?" "Nyaaaaaan! Nyaaaaan!" OMG, STFU! FACEPALM.ORG.

As a form of a hardcore, obsessive nerd, weeaboos basically are unable to relate to anybody but themselves, mainly because all they like is anime and manga. They cannot have normal conversations without constantly mentioning stuff like anime and manga. The severe cases will even get into cross-dressing while cosplaying (do a google image search for "manfaye" and have a sharp object handy to poke your eyes out soon after seeing the images) and demonstrate yayoi-style same-sex kissing just to get attention. Seemingly, all they watch is anime, all they read is manga, and all they listen to is J-pop or anime soundtracks. And they have this bizarre preconception of Japan as being some sort of otaku utopia, mainly because none of them have actually been to Japan. Perhaps some of them have been on a high school homestay program and spent a summer in Japan, in which they got to experience only the good things about Japan, and they probably annoyed their host families with incessant talk about anime and manga.

So what is the difference between a Japanophile and a weeaboo? Many people are quick to believe that the term "Japanophile" is synonymous with "weeaboo." I reject this. People may say that just as a pedophile has an unhealthy obsession with children, a Japanophile must also have an unhealthy obsession with Japan. This is a logical fallacy. Just because the word "pedophile" has severely negative connotations, you cannot therefore say that the suffix "-phile" denotes some sexual sickness and apply that to any word that ends in "-phile." Following this flawed rationale, you would have to say say that an audiophile has sexual relations with his stereo system or something. We are talking about the -phile suffix, not -philia. Yes, they have the same root, but the connotations are different. The -phile suffix simply denotes "a lover of," or "enthusiast for." You would be injecting your own prejudices into the word if you fail to differentiate between these two suffixes. Just because they have the same root, doesn't make the two concepts synonymous.

So, a Japanophile is simply somebody who is fascinated with Japan. Weeaboos have a fascination with what they think Japan is like (magical happy land of manga and anime), and their only view of Japan is filtered primarily through what they are exposed to through anime and manga. They could learn about what Japan is really like, if they weren't too preoccupied with these two media. They are those whose obsession with Japanese pop-culture has taken an unhealthy turn, clouding their perception of Japan as a whole, and this impedes their social interaction with others (e.g. their inability to speak without using anime language).

So can Japanophiles be obnoxious too? You bet! How about those annoying martial artist "BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!" types? These clowns think that knowing karate or whatever, knowing words like "kumite" and eating with chopsticks makes them "at one" with Japanese culture (and Asian culture overall, since apparently it's all the same place to them). Like this one company I worked at, I had a cube mate who had been stationed in Okinawa in the military and he thought that living ON A MILITARY BASE in OKINAWA equated with living in Japan. Then this other dude comes along and he starts going on and on about how he was stationed in Okinawa, and they start BS'ing about "harnessing ki/chi" and how it must be possible to kill somebody just by touching them by focusing your ki and all that crap. I just felt like shouting at them, "HADOUKEN!" These guys swore up and down that their black belts made them "in-tune" with Japanese culture and were trying to impress me because the whole conversation began because I'd told them I'd lived in Japan for a few years. A little bit of knowledge can be worse than complete ignorance, especially when it comes to martial arts-type of people who maintain eye contact while bowing. While they do this in a bout, it's extremely rude in real Japanese culture.

So you get these morons who are either into manga or martial arts and they try to BS and impress each other about stupid crap and the whole "one upsmanship" with who knows more about XXX and how they know the difference between sushi and sashimi, and isn't it so great that they can eat any food with chopsticks etc. They go to Japanese fast food places for lunch all the time, thinking that Japan must have food like teriyaki chicken bowls, because hey, why would they serve them at those places if it wasn't real Japanese food? Oh gosh, I could rant on. And then there is the crowd of bitter, jaded expatriates living in Japan, who overrun forums like the Gaijin Pot forum. These people really need to just pack up and go back home, because their culture shock has really overtaken them to the point where they lash out at anyone hoping to someday get a job in Japan and insult them. Their "us four and no more" mentality is ridiculous, as they think it's perfectly fine for them to live in Japan, but any other foreigners need to keep out.

Stupid kanji tattoos
And what's up with these idiots who get kanji tattoos? Do they really think that getting a kanji tattoo really draws them closer to Japanese culture? This is so opposite of the truth! The majority of these pinheads can't even read the language, so why would they get their bodies permanently marked?

In college, I used to work at the student computing center. I saw one guy with this 主地 tatooed on his arm. I was like, "Hey, Lord Dirt!" And he was like, huh? I explained to him that's basically what his kanji read as. He said "Nuh uh, that's my name in Chinese." ORLY? So I asked him his name, and he said Steve. Hmm... Shu-chi. Steve. Sure, I guess. I don't presume to know Chinese, but then again you certainly don't see me with a poser kanji/hanzi tattoo on my arm. A few years ago I saw the back of somebody's Scion car in a parking lot in huge letters (with poor penmanship at that) that read 神わ愛 across the back window. So apparently this goofball wanted to say "God is love," but they obviously didn't know Japanese enough to understand that the particle "wa" is written with a "ha" instead, like this: 神は愛 So, his message of God's love could only be read by people who can read Japanese, but those of us who can think he's a goofball who is just broadcasting his ignorance. Silly.

Back in 2005, I went to an old high school friend's house one night to see a Korean anime movie called Wonderful Days. It was basically like Korea's answer to Akira. It was an interesting movie with beautiful CG, and at least it was less confusing than Ghost in the Shell 2. Anyhow, he was the friend who I used to go and hang out with at Denny's late at night. I hadn't seen this friend of mine for about eight years... I just lost track of him when he started hanging out with all these nitwits. Apparently he was still in the habit of surrounding himself with nitwits. As I was watching my friend play piano, one of his friends sat down on the couch next to me. I noticed she had a "Japanese" tatoo, so I foolishly attempted to read it. It was complete nonsense. It was a made-up kanji followed by a jumble of hiragana and katakana, and one "character" looked more like a wallpaper design than anything else. Apparently the tattoist took horizontally-written kanji and attempted to write them vertically, but in their ignorance they didn't know where one kanji began and the other ended, so there were these free-floating radicals that didn't make sense. She asked me if I could read it, but I honestly said no. Maybe I should've just been polite and said I can't understand Japanese. I just asked her who did her tattoo, and she said a friend. I then asked her if her friend understood Japanese, and she said no. So I asked her how they thought they were getting something in Japanese, and she said they used an online translation tool. They should have used FACEPALM.ORG instead! So then I asked her what she thinks it's supposed to mean, and she said "unexpected." So I said something like, "Well gee, that's partially true, since you EXPECTED your tattoo to make sense." I was never asked to another of my friend's parties again. By the end of the night, I ended up talking to some psychotic moron who calls himself a "poet" and was giving me all these bizarre conspiracy theories about politics. Good thing I had a valid excuse to go get my wife from work that night.

I have no idea why so many idiots get tattoos in languages they can't even understand. Yeah, we get a kick out of Engrish.com and laugh at Asians with ridiculous Engrish T-shirts, but at least they don't TATTOO Engrish onto their bodies! There used to be a website/blog called www.hanzismatter.com which showcased moronic tattoos. One famous example is a person who loved hip-hop/rap (FACEPALM.ORG) so much that she wanted "mad flow" written in Chinese kanji for a "tramp stamp." Well, it essentially translated to "explosive diahrrea," and the girl's tattoo was written just above her ass. There was one guy in Beijing who was tattooing offensive statements onto ignorant foreigners. He wrote "insert General Tso's chicken here" on one woman's belly. (I think he should be given a badge of honor... I'd love to tattoo "autoerotic asphyxiation" onto some dumb idiot who wants "love and beauty" written on her neck.) There's another story of a Japanese tattoo artist who got so tired of gaijin bastardizing his language that he started tattooing "small penis" on guys. Fairly recently, there was a guy on a Web forum I am on who was looking to get a kanji tattoo, and had decided on 天 ("heaven") because it was on the back of Akuma/Gouki's jacket from Street Fighter Alpha, but he was still asking people on the forum if this was the correct translation! I swear, if you have to go to an Internet forum to ask about the meaning of a kanji, maybe you should be the last person to get a kanji tattoo? What a goofball. His reasoning was, "I thought the symbol on Akuma's back would be cool since the concept of heaven fits with my Christian beliefs." So my snarky response was, "In that case, I recommend getting a tattoo of a bible verse. I suggest Leviticus 19:28."

So the moral to the story is, just be yourself. Don't try to act Japanese if you are not. Japanese people don't expect you to behave just like them. Perhaps it may be different in Korean culture; I don't know. But as far as Japan goes, as long as you aren't loud, obnoxious, and act like an idiot, you'll do fine.

Don't just stand there, do something!

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"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak." ---Jack Handey

mail: greg -atsign- stevethefish -dot- net