But that's not all of it. Thanks to the Internet, I've even received threats. I used to go by the handle of Major Tom. I wish I had saved this e-mail, but the first e-mail threat I received was from a DJ who claimed to own the copyright to the name Major Tom, and my innocuous personal homepage was somehow infringing on this right. He was obviously full of crap, because if anybody owns the rights to the name Major Tom, it would be David Bowie for his song "Space Oddity." But I don't think he even sued Peter Schilling for making a song called "Major Tom," so this guy was just all talk. Stupid DJs.
More interesting are the death threats. Here's one I got from "Russ" who attended Vermont's Lyndon State College.
From: nadeaur@joker.lsc.vsc.edu
--Russ
Subject page
Date: 4/10/1997
Who in the fuck are you?! I oughta come down there and fucking kill you
for the shit you're doing on this here Internet thang. This is bullshit.
How in the fuck did you get on this thing, anyway? Because this is
nothing but pure horseshit, I'm gonna hunt you down. I'm gonna come to
your house and bus' a cap in your ass. I mean it,too. I'm gonna kill you
and your whole fucking family. And I can, too, don't fucking think I
can't. I'm a fucking hacker God and I can do it all. I know where you
live and, by noon tomorrow, you'll be dead. Don't bother trying to tell
anyone about this, 'cause you won't have enough time to do it. I'm gonna
kill you, mother fucker, and that ain't no joke. Write me back and it'll
be the last thing you ever do. If I find out I'm getting in shit over
this, I'll beat the fuck out of your limp body. There's no escape.
You're gonna die like the Klansman you are! Fuck you, asshole, fuck you.
Just remember, no one needs to know about this but you and me! Fuck
Face!
Wow, where did that come from? Such vitriol for the guy who made the Internet's first Sailor Mercury Shrine? Russ apparently listens to too much rap music, and has a really poor sense of humor. Oh, but guess what? I got him into some huge trouble with his college after I called them up, and he was at least going to get his computer access revoked, and at most expelled from college. Tee hee hee! The funny thing about this is that even if he was serious, he'd fly all the way to Arizona from Vermont to kill me? Would I be pacing back and forth, wringing my hands, waiting for him to come kill me by noon the next day? "Well, gee, I could jump on a pogo stick and be halfway to California by the time he gets here, but since he says there's no escape, I may as well just wait for him to kill me and my family." And where did the Klansman part come from? What a moron.
Here's another one, from yet another college!.
From: mruggirello@jcu.edu
Subject:Beat you to death with pipes
Date: 4/29/2002
Damn it you suck Major Tom. This isn't meant in a mean way or
anything, it's just that your website is god-awfull. You aren't evena
real major, are you?
Well now! Here's the e-mail I sent to their webmaster:
A student at your university whose user id is mruggirello has abused his e-mail privileges and sent me a rather hostile message including a death threat. I find it rather odd how a so-called "Christian" university such as John Carroll University would allow such immature, hostile morons to freely attend classes there. The JCU website says the following about the school:
To education the Jesuit spirit brings:
·a rationality appropriately balanced by human affection
·an esteem for the individual as a unique person
·training in discerning choice
·openess (sic) to change
·a quest for God's greater glory in the use of this world's goods.
Apparently the messages of the school's classes aren't sinking into the dim-witted mind of this Mr. Uggirello or whatever his name is, since he has decided to threaten to "beat me to death with pipes." I have no idea what he found so offensive with my homepage, since it's rather all-ages oriented.
I have already alerted my own ISP about this user's threat and I expect your cooperation in the matter of appropriately dealing with this user. Below is a forwarded copy of the offensive e-mail.
Sincerely,
Greg
And, here's the response I received from the webmaster:
From: burke@jcu.edu
- Jim Burke
Subject:Re:Beat you to death with pipes
Date: 4/30/2002
Gregory:
We do not condone this type of behavior at John Carroll and have policies that
specifically prohibit it. I will forward your message onto the Dean of Students
for the appropriate action. Sorry for the confusion and for the initial harassment.
Well, at least this pinhead got into a bit of trouble, at least.
Here's the email from that stupid DJ:
From: Thomas Spiteri-Hay
As this is my business and I have gone to great lengths in time and
Yeah, right. Copyright? Tell that to David Bowie. BTW, you spelled "refrain" as "reframe," you toenail.
mail: greg -atsign- stevethefish -dot- net
Subject: Violation of Copyright:
Date: 7/14/1997
Dear Greg,
As the true Major Tom who has the name for business related material as
I am a broadcaster who uses the name and has had it copyrighted since
1977 I would like to advise you that you are in violation of copyright
and that you must reframe from using the name Major Tom or be charged
with infringement of copyright.
money to get my name out there and have it copyrighted.
I trust that you will take this as a warning and that you will consider
visiting my homepage to check it out.
Thanks;
Major Tom Hay..... http://synapse.net/~majortom/
Check out the next thingy I write about.
Go back to the "Greg's Life" Table of Contents
"Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab." ---The Chosen One