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What was your major accomplishment in this past year?
While I was alone in the break room, I discovered that I'm able to dance like David Byrne.
In which area do you feel you excel in?
I'm pretty good at launching rubber bands over my cubicle wall and nailing my coworkers. It works best when I bounce them off the ceiling, kinda like that one scene in Tron when they had those big cups on their hands.
In which area do you feel you need to improve most upon?
Keeping a straight face in meetings when people say stuff like, "Let's take this offline for now and discuss later." That kills me.
How do you promote productivity among your team?
I don my conquistador helmet, march into people's cubicles and exclaim, "I claim this land for Spain!"
What do you hope to accomplish in this new year?
I plan to build a fort out of empty cardboard boxes in the copy room. No girls allowed.
Name any reasons why we may want to fire you. Please give specific details.
For the past several months, I've been secretly brewing regular coffee in the decaffeinated coffee pot and decaffeinated coffee in the regular coffee pot. I'm just a subversive sack of monkey crap.
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Go back to the "Greg's Life" Table of Contents
"If I could be for only an hour, If I could be for an hour everyday... If I could be for just one little hour... CUTE, in a stupid-ass way!"
---Marc Almond, "Jacky"