Mayu and me at Glover Garden
These turtles are so incredibly cute! I especially like the way they walk. I like to take them out of their tank and watch them crawl around on the floor or me or something. They're always getting into trouble and I love them. Turtles make fascinating pets. Their primary activities include but are not limited to the following:
1. Swimming
2. Eating
3. Walking
4. Sleeping
5. Crawling around on top of each other
6. Attempting to occupy the exact same space at the exact same time
7. Miscellaneous bodily functions (such as breathing and going potty)
8. Swimming (I think I may have mentioned this already, but I'm too lazy to check.)
At one time I had thought that owning a turtle would not be very fun. Then again, that's what I thought about keeping fish, but boy was I wrong! I am thoroughly convinced that turtles are one of the best of God's creations on this planet. One of the worst, of course would be penguins. These scheming, beady-eyed, ne'er-do-wells are always causing trouble and are only good as a food supply to sharks, walruses, Arctic pandas, Alaskan parrots, rogue cannibal penguins, and whatever horrible abominations to nature which lurk in the unknown, frozen tundra wastelands of Canada. Oh sure... they're cute, but these jerks are always up to no good. To qualify my statements, I take R2-D2 as a prime example to illustrate how penguins have caused such pain and suffering in the world.
| Quality: |  Penguin |  R2-D2 | Advantage: |
| Appearance | Is it a bird? A duck? A Mobster? Who knows? Nice tuxedo, though | Hi-tech looking, with a silver head and white body | R2-D2 |
| Intelligence | Knows how to catch fish and ruin people's lives | Can hack computers and help you do your taxes | R2-D2 |
| Flexibility | Can swim and waddle around aimlessly | Has a hard time getting up after falling, but can rotate head 360 degrees, can operate in the vacuum of space | draw |
| Usefulness | Eats fish, flaps wings, gets in your way when you're trying to walk around on the ice (not that you'd want to, though) | Can serve drinks, rescue you from slavery, has secret compartments to hide your lightsaber, remote control, etc. and can make minor repairs on your car or starship | R2-D2 |
| Cuteness factor | Waddling around is cute, I guess | Hi-tech robot that for some reason can only communicate in beeps and whistles that only C3PO can understand, yet is faithful and loyal and full of foul-mouthed sass (like a robot version of Kenny from South Park) | R2-D2 |
| The Winner: | R2-D2 |
So therefore by using the example above, you can clearly see that turtles are far superior to and make better pets than penguins. If you aren't yet fully convinced that penguins are naughty bad, please watch the Adam Sandler movie Billy Madison or Wallace and Gromit's The Wrong Trousers and you will see why. And it is a little-known fact that Palestinian penguins support the Islamic Jihad against America and the rest of the free world, as is shown in the below photograph.
Nagasaki
Nagasaki reminded me a lot of California. My first impressions of the city were mysterious because as we got closer to the Nagasaki, it stopped raining and the clouds pressed down on the narrow valley the road led us through, shrouding the surrounding hills in mist. As we exited the bypass and entered Nagasaki, the road was lined with palm trees We drove down the main boulevard into downtown at dusk. We didn't have too much trouble to find the Fukumoto Ryokan, so we checked in and walked to the nearby Chinatown for dinner. We ate champon, which is a Nagasaki specialty. I don't know if the champon here tastes different than anywhere else since it was my first time to eat it, but they say it's a Nagasaki specialty and it was in all the Chinese restaurants, so I'll just take their word for it because I really don't care. It's kinda like ramen, except that it's not really like ramen and it tastes different. It's yummy, so I guess that's the important thing to know. Just make sure you eat some champon when you visit Nagasaki or else all my incoherent ramblings will have been for naught. Mayu was tired that night since she drove most of the way, so she went back to the ryokan while I took some night photography of Chinatown and Dejima Wharf. Dejima Wharf was so beautiful along the water. It reminded me of a smaller version of Kobe's Harborland area. It's mainly just restaurants and bars with a long deck along the harbor. It's lit up beautifully at night as you can see in the picture. It's a perfect place for a date. |
The next morning we took the tram to Nagasaki Station to get some travel information. Nagasaki Station is one of the most beautiful train stations I've seen in Japan, including Kyoto Station. We bought all-day cable car tram passes for both of us which allowed us unlimited use of the tram system for the day. Near the station is the memorial for the 26 Martyrs, which we went to first. It's up on a hill that overlooks the train station and the immediate downtown area. I'm not an expert in Japanese history, but here is a bit of what I know. Hundreds of years ago, Christianity had flourished in Japan and it is said that some one-third of the population was Christian. However, it is said that the Portuguese and Spanish were trying to use religion to gain political power and to control the daimyo and perhaps subjugate Japan to their empire. This of course led to a lot of fear, so they decided to ban Christianity. After Japan had banned Christianity they decided to start killing Christians and a holocaust ensued. Christianity was the strongest in Kyushu and particularly in the port city of Nagasaki. The holocaust began when 26 Christians were killed one day when they refused to reject their belief in Christ. Today a stone statue memorial stands in remembrance of the executions. There's also a pretty park there that overlooks the downtown Nagasaki Station area and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Wait... was that a non-sequitir? I'm not sure. There's a hole in my sock.
Our next stop was Megane Bashi, which means "glasses bridge." It is named so because when the water in the canal is at a certain level and you look at it from a certain angle, it looks like a pair of round spectacles. When we were there the water level was low, so it looked like just a regular bridge. So what's the big deal about a bridge? Well, the area along the canal is very quiet and set apart from the busy street. It's a beautiful place to just enjoy the atmosphere of the town.The surrounding neighborhood seemed like a beautiful and peaceful place to live, but I bet it's terribly expensive. Megane Bashi is just one of many stone bridges that span the canal. We saw koi fish swimming around in the canal with turtles! Big turtles swimming around and basking in the sun along the bank. Mayu was definitely happy to see them. I bought ice cream cones for each of us from an old lady peddling an ice cream cart along the canal. We talked with her for awhile and she was surprised that I didn't need Mayu to translate for me.
Next stop on our list of places was Glover Garden, which is somehow pronounced "Guraba" to Japanese people. I guess it's because this Glover guy was from Scotland, so I can see how his accent would affect the Japanese katakana pronounciation. And he isn't to be confused with Grover, our blue, lovable old pal from Sesame Street who taught us all the difference between near and far. Anyhow, Mr. Glover was a wealthy and famous foreigner guy who lived in Nagasaki. That's all I'm going to say because I'm getting tired of providing history education on this page. Go look it up yourself! All I will say is that when in beautiful Nagasaki, be sure to visit Glover Garden where there are lots of neat plants and other things to look at.
Oranda-Zaka is the "Dutch Slopes" not far from Glover Garden. Here you can see expensive homes made in Dutch-style architecture. To be honest, we didn't spend a whole lot of time here because we were more interested in finding the Teddy Bear Shop Beeps nearby, which we then found out that it had recently been relocated to the Minato-cho shopping arcade. We headed for Dejima Wharf for lunch and then found the teddy bear store with a bit of difficulty. In terms of shopping in Nagasaki, the nicest specialty is glassmaking. You can find many stores which specialize in glassware, and if I had more money I might have bought some. Another local specialty art involves turtle shells. As someone who has turtles as pets, I find it slightly offensive to use turtles for their shells to make artwork. I'm certainly not a whack-o PETA activist, but I disapprove of this as much as poaching elephants for ivory.
After that, there really wasn't much else for us to go see in the city. Of course there was the bomb memorial, but we decided not to go there. Mayu said she didn't want to go to such a sad place, and I agreed. But as a person who is interested in Japanese history, I was curious to visit the memorial. However, I've heard that the one in Hiroshima is better. I imagine that it is a life-changing experience, although these memorials are rather one-sided exhibits which help ease the Japanese conscious into thinking that they were the victims and not the agressors during the war. (I've read that China and Korea have similar exhibits of the horrors Japan was guilty of in their respective homelands.) My opinion is that these atomic bombs were necessary to save lives, both American and Japanese, and there are many Japanese people who believe this as well. Left-wing history revisionists say that Japan was ready to surrender anyway and that the bombs were unnecessary. This thinking shows a complete lack of knowledge of the traditional Japanese culture at the time. Although the samurai way of life was abolished during the Meiji period of the 19th century, the spirit lived on. Surrender was unacceptable, and anyone who did surrender was considered sub-human (as is shown by the way Japanese soldiers treated P.O.W.s). Any country losing a war that trains women and children to charge at tanks with sharpened sticks is not a country about to surrender. Nagasaki was bombed because there was no surrender after Hiroshima. I admit that those who died during the two atomic explosions died in very horrible ways. However, the casualties were far less than the typical fire bomings elsewhere in Japan.
Huis Ten Bosch
The next day, we drove to Huis Ten Bosch, a Dutch theme park celebrating everything from the Netherlands except Dutch food. I've been told that Holland is infamous for having the worst food in Europe, which is probably why they had food from many various countries but Holland. (I don't think the country is famous for curry...) Pronounced "House Ten Bosh" (I suspect it's because the Dutch are not good at spelling), I will hereby now reference it as HTB.
As a Western foreigner, I think I must be missing some of the appeal that Huis Ten Bosch has on Japanese people. I think the foreign-ness is what makes HTB so special for Japanese. Despite the beautiful architecture, it still felt like a theme park to me. And since we visited Universal Studios in Hollywood last summer, I guess I was a bit spoiled in terms of theme parks. Still, I had fun. The first attraction we went to was the Teddy Bear Kingdom, because I guess Holland is famous for teddy bears. (I don't know... But since when is anything in HTB supposed to make sense?) Explaining the history behind the history of the teddy bear and how President Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear cub while hunting, this attraction showed teddy bears like crazy, and many of them were very expensive too. They had cowboy teddies, knight teddies, circus teddies, teddies from international cultures, and... I don't know... I think they had a Gundam teddy and a Carol Channing teddy there as well. I can't remember. Anyhow, it's cute and since Mayu loves teddies, she loved the attraction.
I just realized that I don't want to make this an in-depth review of HTB, so I'll make this short and feature only the highlights. My favorite attraction was the M.C. Escher exhibit. If you don't know the difference between M.C. Escher and M.C. Hammer and aren't familiar with the genius of Escher's prints, look him on Yahoo or something. You probably have already seen his art before. Mayu and I had the opportunity to see his art on display several years ago at the San Diego Museum of Art a few years ago. This attraction was not really an art gallery, but it was a 3D movie presentation featuring a little girl whose dog is dying and so she runs through a surreal landscape featuring Escher's works in some bizarre quest for some dog medicine or something. Everything was dubbed in Japanese, but they had ear phones for me to listen to an English translation. So anyhow, it was kinda stupid, but the fact that it was Escher and it had some cool computer animation bringing his prints to life made it worthwhile and the best attraction at HTB. Also, before the film you get to walk around in a building inspired by his art, where stairways are on the ceiling and floor tiles transform into lizards. I wish I could have taken pictures, but cameras were not allowed inside. The one I liked second best was the somewhat historical video/ride about the first Dutch explorers to land in Japan, and how they fought the Spanish at sea. It was particularly interesting because I read "Shogun" by James Clavell a while back, and it is based loosely on those events and how it opened trade between Holland and Japan. Of course they didn't mention how the Dutch were held prisoner and brutally tortured, but it's an all-ages attraction after all.
Sasebo
The last stage of our journey to Kyushu was a stop in the nearby town of Sasebo. After Huis Ten Bosch, it was a quick drive and I thought it was convenient to stay there for one night instead of driving back to Nagasaki. We were going to head back the next day, and I didn't want to backtrack a lot and lose time. I now know that it would have been better to take an hour to drive back to Nagasaki rather than stay in Sasebo. It was a boring town, which seemed entirely un-beautiful and unappealing after we had stayed in wonderful Nagasaki. To make matters worse, Sasebo is well known for its American military base. Normally that is no big deal I think, except that since this is Japan where American soldiers can be rather infamously known in their areas. I felt especially self-conscious since I was an American. In case you don't read the news, it seems like some American soldiers have an exemplary propensity of pissing off Japanese citizens in their surrounding area with their antics, and anti-American/foreigner resentment rides high in these towns. I have never been to Okinawa, but I hear that it is the worst there, the way that the military there has a long history there of doing incredibly stupid stuff like raping little girls, running children over with their jeeps, and punching restaurant owners who kick them out of their establishments for carrying knives (like what happened recently).
Don't get me wrong though; I am not anti-military, and I am not saying that everyone in the military is horrible. I've had friends who are or have been in the military, and I even contemplated joining the Armed Forces for awhile in high school. But I've talked with former servicemen who had been stationed in Okinawa and were appalled by the way people behaved. I'm distressed how the various branches of the military have a habit of recruiting rude, uneducated, oversexed (and often racist) moronic doorknobs who view sex primarily as a recreational activity and sending them all over the world to inadvertantly become ambassadors of sorts for their country and conduct themselves like complete animals, and then Americans wonder why the rest of the world hates them. I think it is mainly the superior attitude that many Americans have, and combined with a lack of respect for other countries and cultures is what I believe prompts these morally corrupt individuals to behave overseas in such a way that they may never think of doing back home.
Tension towards Americans was in the air in Sasebo, and I felt uncomfortable the way people looked at me. As an American/Japanese internationally married couple walking around the shopping arcade in downtown Sasebo, it didn't take much time before we received our first racist remark about the nature of our relationship. Some old man, who looked old enough to have lived during the war and possibly could have even been a Japanese soldier, said to Mayu as he passed by, "Omae wa Nihonjin ka? Baka!" Translation: "You're Japanese, huh? Idiot!" Obviously he feels that any Japanese woman who would consider a relationship with an American to be a fool. I don't think that there is ever a valid excuse for racism, but I can understand where he's coming from, living in a dumpy town where American soldiers have been slopping over the local women for the past several decades and behaving like the jerks I saw with my own eyes. Nevertheless, this remark disturbed Mayu greatly, as it was the first racist remark we have received towards the nature of our love. It's something I could have expected more in America where people are so used to speaking their minds that they often say the stupidest things without thinking. I never really expected such a remark from anyone in Japan, where society discourages anybody from speaking their mind. The fact that we received such a racist remark in Sasebo tells me a little about how at least some if not many of the people feel about Americans. I'm just curious as to whether or not that rude old jerk confused me as being a military type or not.
Anyhow, to be fair I'll talk about what I liked about Sasebo. There's lots of good things to say about the town. Well, maybe there isn't. There's at least two things good to say about it. First off, Sasebo is known for several burger joints that actually sell delicious American style hamburgers. None of that small and flimsy Japanese style hamburgers you find at McDoorknob's or anything. By the way, if you ever visit McDummy's in Japan, eat the Teriyaki McBurger or whatever it's called. It's yummy. Also, the french fries are decent just like back home. Nevertheless, McDipstick's is pretty crappy except when they have cool toys like Hello Kitty or Legos. Mainly because of Ronald McDork, who is a clown. Clowns are simply not good. If I may confide in you (I don't know why, since chances are I may not know you, but here goes), I am a son of a clown. Yes, my father has embraced the sinister Black Arts of Clowndom and paints faces on himself. It is my hidden shame, and I just now made it known to anyone on the Internet who happens to come across this homepage. Maybe it's a cry for help. But to get back on topic, Ronald McDink is one of the worst clowns, right up there with John Wayne Gacey and Stephen King's It. He's a total fascist. If you don't believe me, just look at the way he lords over all the other McDillweed's characters. Sure they're imbecilles, but you have to feel sorry for them, especially since they're portrayed in such negative stereotypes. The cleptomaniac Hamburgler with a speech impediment, the ditzy bird-brained cheerleader-type Birdie, the authoritarian police officer Big Mac or whatever his name is, and the big dumb-as-rocks Grimace who says stuff like, "Duh, gee Ronald! A penguin gave me glow-in-the-dark ice cream!" And Ronald replies, "That's not ice cream you moron, it's yellow snow!" And McDweeb's warm relationship with a certain animation kingdom/empire whose name starts with "D" just goes to show how evil it is. The only reason Ronald smiles so much is that so many kids shove his restaurant's greasy meat in their faces every day. But dang, their fries sure taste good. I'm sorry, I've gone off on another tangent. I'm afraid this entire paragraph has been another non-sequitir. Maybe it's because giraffes are tall.
What was I talking about, anyway? Oh yeah, burger joints in Sasebo. We ate at one American hamburger shop cleverly called "American Hamburger Shop." It was severely yummy! The burgers were big, too. I was so happy that I ate one big and one medium sized hamburger. I knew that it would be a long time before I had the ability to eat another such hamburger, so I splurged. (Is "splurge" a word? I'm too lazy to look it up in the dictionary. It sure sounds weird.)
The second good thing about Sasebo is that there is a store called Wai Wai Boeki. I guess I can translate it as "Whee Whee/Yay Yay Business." I guess it only works in Japanese. Anyhow, this store is an official Star Wars toy dealer and the owner of the store has met many famous Star Wars celebrities, such as Kenny Baker and David Prowse. I told him that I just missed Kenny Baker at Tokyo Tower by a day when I was in town for the Tokyo Game Show with my friend Lou. The store's Star Wars stuff was a bit overpriced, but then again the best place to get American toys is in America, naturally. However, they did have the new Kubrick Tron toys which are a Japanese exclusive, and I bought two sets. My wife bought a huge Mr. Bean teddy because she's determined to buy every Mr. Bean teddy she finds. They had the trailer for Episode 2 running nonstop. In all, it was a pretty cool store, even if it's prices are a bit expensive.
Lastly, there's also the Seaside Park in Sasebo that looked rather pretty in the travel brochures, but for some reason nobody we talked to in town knew what or where it was. So we didn't have a chance to find out where this mysterious place is. So, the next day we headed back, stopping by Yubara Onsen in Okayama-ken for a night. It was a wonderful vacation.
Go to the next chapter. Go on, I dare ya.
Go back to the "Greg's Life" Table of Contents
"Their robot planes were no match for our music!"