Here's a picture I took of a giant invisible penguin attacking Shinjuku Ward, Tokyo. Be sure to visit Yodobashi Camera near the station.

Vacation in Tokyo

May 2000

I finally graduated college last December with a BS in Global Business. I always thought that I'd be getting a BA degree, but I guess they consider business a science. With all I learned from my business classes, I think I'll write a book called "Harnessing the Power of High-Impact Procrastination." It will be about efficiently making the most of your time while you should be doing something more important. I'll be sure to use big catch words like "parenthetical," "ramifications," and "infrastructure." I'm not sure when I'll get around to writing it. Maybe I should have stuck to computer science back in junior college.

Last January, I took a two week vacation to Japan. I was completely prepared for my big second trip, or so I thought. On Thursday, January 20th, everything seemed perfect, just like everything went perfect with the last trip to Japan back in the summer of '98. The Southwest plane I took to Los Angeles was painted with Shamu on it. I like Shamu, and I like Sea World in San Diego, except for the lame shows for kids. But I also discovered a cool aquarium at Scripps Institute of Oceanography in La Jolla near San Diego a year and a half ago. You get to see lots of fish aquariums, and it's a lot cheaper. Which means that you don't have to give $30 to some beer company that makes money off of kids legitimately. There was this girl who used to live across the street from me. One day I saw her wearing a killer whale T-shirt (can't remember if it was Shamu), and so I asked her about it. She says that killer whales are her favorite animal, and she prided herself on knowing all sorts of stuff about them. At least she got the "animal" part right. I asked her if she knew that a "killer whale" wasn't really a whale but a dolphin. "Nuh uh!" Then I asked her if she knew that "killer whale" isn't the real name, but it's actually called an orca. "Nuh uh!" I wonder if she cried in bed that night. If so, I hope that doesn't affect her later in life.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. I lugged all of my stuff onto the inter-terminal bus to Tom Bradly International Terminal at LAX. I got a really great deal with Thai Air that only cost me $420 to fly from LAX to Narita. It probably costs more to fly from Arizona to New York or Boston. Anyhow, I was ready to check my stuff in at the counter with Thai Air and then the guy asked me to have my passport and tickets ready for when I go up to the counter. I freaked. I had everything I could want for my trip, except for my passport! I can't remember if I swore or anything, but I did hyperventilate and sit down on the ground for awhile. I was so afraid that all of my money was wasted, as with my travel plans. Fortunately, they helped me out a lot. The guy at Thai Air gave me a coupon for a $40 night at the Quality Hotel not far from the airport. There was a free shuttle bus that took me there. On the phone before I got there, the woman was sympathetic to my idiocity for forgetting my passport, and she was kind enough to double my coupon for two nights! "Idiocity" is a word, isn't it?

So, I got to hang out in my hotel room for a total of $80 (plus tax) for two nights while my parents sent my passport via Priority Mail (thanks USPS!) to my hotel. I was tempted to go see the sights in LA, but I wanted to save my money for Japan. Riding buses in America is a scary thought, and renting a car and braving LA traffic without a navigator didn't sound appealing to me. So, I just stayed in my hotel, and ventured outside only to find some place to eat. When I walked over to the nearby Denny's for breakfast the next morning, some black guy came up to me and asked me if I had a minute. He first of all told me that he wasn't a bum, and that his car had broken down. His boss was expecting him 15 minutes ago, and he was late for a delivery or something. He needed to buy a car part and he didn't have the money for it. He told me what part it was even, but I can't remember what it was. I'm useless when it comes to automobile engines. A friend of mine kept asking me all sorts of guy-type engine questions, and I was like, "Uh, engine makes car go." Seriously, I only know how to check the oil and add more, and add some water too. I can point to where the spark plugs go, but I can't tell the difference between a radiator or a carburetor. So anyhow, I thought that the Christian thing to do would be to give the guy some money. He told me that it was $15, so I gave him $5. Then he asked if I had anything else, and I told him no, and that I needed the money. He asked if I had $15, and maybe if I could write him a check and he'd pay me back if I gave him my address. I had only two good options:

  1. Tell him "Go away, dude! You're scaring me!"
  2. Point behind him and say, "My God, what's that?" And then run away from him as fast as possible once he turned his head.
Unfortunately, all I did was politely refuse and walk away. I wished him luck on fixing his car and then went on to Denny's. (Man, the Denny's near LAX is expensive. I paid about $6-7 for a Grand Slam breakfast.) I later went to Subway for a late lunch, and some other guy told me that he wasn't a bum and asked me if I could help him get home. His car had broken down, and his wife and kids were expecting him home for dinner. I'm sure it wasn't the same guy. Then it dawned on me that these guys were professional con-artists that prey on ignorant suburbanite kids like me. I had two inclinations:
  1. Say, "Hey, I'm good with car engines. How about if you let me take a look at it? I'll have it running in no time. It sounds like your R2 unit has a bad motivator. Did you check the flux capacitor?"
  2. Tell him, "Hey, I saw another guy giving the same story down the street this morning. Maybe you should go kick his ass."
Of course, I chickened out again. It was Los Angeles after all, so I had to play it safe. Man, I felt like a fool. I knew I shouldn't trust people in L.A.! After that, I decided to stay in my hotel room as much as possible and stay away from these guys with broken cars.

Fortunately though, I received my passport that day. So on Saturday, the next day, I was ready to head out on my trip that morning. I was glad to leave L.A. I didn't take any photographs in L.A., because I was scared that some jerk might try to lift my camera from me. I felt pretty inspired to take some cool looking black and white photography, but I just passed on the chance. So go on, continue to Part 2 of my Vacation in Tokyo. You do remember that this is the real point of me writing this, don't you?

Go on to Part 2 of my Vacation in Tokyo or else.

Please read the next chapter of "Greg's Life" if you know what's good for you.

Go back to the "Greg's Life" Table of Contents

Go back to the main page

Jesus saves. He passes to Moses. Moses shoots... He scores! And the crowd goes wild!